30 Life Lessons Learned from Living in Japan

30 Life Lessons from a Non-Japanese Perspective in Japan

When a dear friend of mine turned 30, she shared a heartfelt list of life lessons she had learned over the years. Some were touching, some were humorous, and others were practical nuggets of wisdom about etiquette, kindness, and essential life skills. Inspired by her thoughtful approach, I decided to create my own list of life lessons, drawn from over 12 years of living in Japan as a white Australian woman. This is a light-hearted exploration of my experiences, filled with mistakes made, observations, and a sprinkle of humor along the way!

Always Use an Envelope When Handing Over Money

In Japan, the presentation matters. Whether you’re paying your child’s teacher for an excursion or splitting the bill with a friend, handing over money in an envelope shows that you have your life together. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; any envelope will do! I often leave it unsealed so it can be reused, making it feel less formal and more practical.

Try New Foods, Even If You’re Hesitant!

Japanese people love to share their culinary delights, and they genuinely want to know what you think. Unlike in Australia, where there might be an unspoken pressure to rave about the food, in Japan, it’s perfectly acceptable to express your honest opinion. If you find something too salty or strangely textured, feel free to share your thoughts! And if you’re offered more, a polite “kekko desu” (no, thank you) delivered with a chuckle works wonders. Plus, trying food the traditional way can be fun—embrace the mess and have a laugh at yourself!

Less is More: The Case of Perfume

When dining out in Japan, it’s best to skip the perfume. The aroma of the food is meant to be savored, and strong scents can overpower the delicate flavors. Many sushi restaurants even post signs asking patrons to refrain from wearing perfume. This also applies in professional settings—imagine walking into a job interview smelling like a flower shop. Less is definitely more in Japan!

Soft-Serve Ice Cream: A Culinary Miracle

Here’s a fun fact: pretty much anything tastes amazing when paired with soft-serve ice cream! From flowers to herbs and even unexpected veggies, soft-serve ice cream transforms them into delightful treats. If you never thought you’d enjoy a sweet basil or lavender swirl, think again! You might just discover a new favorite flavor combination.

Work Dinners: Let Loose, but Don’t Regret It!

In Japan, having a few too many drinks at a work dinner isn’t frowned upon, but bringing it up the next day definitely is. I learned this the hard way when I made the mistake of commenting on a colleague’s karaoke performance the next day. While it’s all in good fun during the event, discussing the shenanigans afterward can lead to an awkward silence. So, enjoy the night, but leave the memories there!

Red Ink: A Cultural No-No

In Japan, writing in red ink is a big no-no. It symbolizes debt and bad luck, and it’s associated with death. Red ink is traditionally used to write the names of the deceased on gravestones. So, unless you’re correcting something, steer clear of that red pen! Instead, opt for black or blue—stick to colors that won’t raise eyebrows.

Arm-Shaving Culture Shock

When I first arrived in Japan, I witnessed girls casually shaving their forearms before P.E. class, and I was taken aback. Was this a trend? After succumbing to peer pressure and trying it myself, I quickly realized it wasn’t for me. The prickly aftermath left me feeling like a human dandelion. Lesson learned: be confident in your choices, even if they differ from those around you!

Shopping Etiquette on Trains

If you ever find yourself wondering why everyone around you is carrying only a tiny purse while you lug around heavy shopping bags, it’s because most people in Japan have their groceries delivered! From supermarkets to department stores, delivery services are common and convenient. It’s a life-changing experience—seriously, why carry when you can have it brought to you?

Bookstore Shenanigans

Ah, the joy of browsing in a bookstore! In Japan, it’s common to see people engrossed in reading entire books right off the shelf. While technically not allowed, as long as there are no seals or clear signage against it, you can enjoy flipping through the pages. Just remember: sitting down to read might cross some imaginary line, so keep it standing!

Hair Care 101: Beware the Single-Sided Razors

Japanese salons sometimes use single-sided razors that look like butter knives. While they might work wonders for straight hair, if you have curly hair like mine, be prepared for a frizzy disaster. Trust me; you don’t want to walk out looking like a dandelion puff after a disco party!

Long Baths: A Cultural Norm

Long, luxurious baths are an everyday ritual in Japan—not a self-indulgent treat. Bring magazines, set up an iPad for your favorite show, and soak away the day. It’s all about relaxation, so embrace it without guilt!

Makeup on the Go: A Cultural Faux Pas

Applying makeup on the train? While I find it practical, doing so in Japan invites judging glances. It’s considered impolite, so try to save your makeup routine for the bathroom or your home. But hey, if you need tips, observing others might just inspire a new look!

Lunchbox Competition: The Kawaii Factor

Japanese school moms often go all out for their kids’ lunchboxes (obentos) during special events. On sports days or school outings, you’ll see adorable, meticulously crafted meals that are as cute as they are delicious. It’s a fun way to show off culinary creativity and a little friendly competition among parents!

Be Yourself: Embrace Your Laughter

In a culture where covering the mouth while giggling is common, I had to remind myself that it’s okay to laugh loudly and smile widely. My friends helped me shake off that habit, and now I’m proudly embracing my boisterous laughter—even if it occasionally leads to snorts! Life is too short to hold back the joy.

Dining Solo: It’s Totally Normal

Dining alone in Japan is completely acceptable and often quite common. Many cafes even have counter seating specifically for solo diners. The atmosphere is relaxed, and chances are, no one will bat an eye if you enjoy a meal by yourself. It’s a great way to relish your time and indulge in some self-care!

Pencil Cases: A Stylish Necessity

Japanese adults have a serious love for stationery, and pencil cases are no exception. It’s not just about functionality; a well-designed pencil case can be a statement piece! Treat yourself to a beautiful one—because life is too short for boring stationery.

Offering Your Seat: A Kind Gesture

While it’s kind to offer your seat to the elderly, it’s not always expected in Japan. Many older individuals are quite capable and independent. If they decline your offer, respect their wishes. It’s all about understanding cultural nuances and being considerate without overstepping boundaries.

Weight Comments: A Different Perspective

In Japan, comments about weight may come off as shocking, but they’re often meant in a friendly, observational manner. While it might sting initially, reminding yourself of the cultural context can help you take it less personally. It’s a quirky aspect of social interaction—embrace it with a grain of salt!

Seatbelt Safety: A Cautionary Note

While the Japanese may seem relaxed about seatbelt use in the backseat, don’t let that influence your own safety practices. Buckle up! Your safety is crucial, regardless of cultural norms.

Gift-Giving Etiquette: The Paper Bag Rule

In Japan, it’s customary to give gifts in a nice bag, preferably one from a store. I’ve become a paper bag hoarder because of this! Whether returning a book or sharing a gift, always have a stylish bag ready to impress.

Dress to Impress for Evening Events

If you’re attending an evening event in Japan, treat it like a job interview. Aim for business formal: black and white attire, polished shoes, and minimal jewelry. Even if the dress code seems casual, it’s wise to err on the side of elegance!

Japanese Curry: A Flavorful Adventure

When ordering Japanese curry, be prepared for a flavor explosion rather than a spicy one. The spice level doesn’t equate to heat—it’s all about richness and depth. If you love curry, stick with the standard spice level; you won’t regret it!

Taxi Etiquette with Kids: Keep It Clean

When traveling in a taxi with small children, remove their shoes to keep the car clean. Japanese taxi drivers take pride in their vehicles, and it’s a considerate gesture. Plus, it helps your kids feel comfortable during the ride!

Keep Practicing Your Japanese!

Even if you receive responses in English, continue speaking Japanese. It shows respect and a desire to engage with the culture. The more you practice, the more you’ll unlock the rich tapestry of Japanese life and traditions. Consider finding a language exchange partner for an extra boost!

Embrace Cultural Mistakes with Humor

Making cultural faux pas is part of the journey! Whether you mix up slippers or say something awkwardly timed, don’t be too hard on yourself. Exaggerate your oops moments for a laugh, and if you’re feeling down, vent to a friend later. It’s all part of the learning experience!